Behavior Change Through Jesus Christ

"Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction will drive it far from him." Proverbs 22:15

You have probably heard this verse being used to justify spanking children for wrong, bad behavior.

It makes me ask: "What then was the purpose of Jesus dying on the cross for our sins (and the sins of our children) and our sinful nature?"

If all a child needs is the "rod of correction" to make him behave in a way that is pleasing to God and to others, then I guess we do not really need Jesus after all do we?

Whether we use spankings or time-outs in the case of child discipline, asceticism (dressing in rough clothes, eating little and poor-tasting food, sleeping in uncomfortable conditions as Martin Luther and Charles Wesley tried to escape from their sinful nature), or the psychological methods and "Christian" self-help techniques replete in today's women books, magazines and even Bible studies, nothing will drive the natural foolishness, our sin nature, from our hearts or the hearts of our children except for complete dependence on the salvation of Jesus Christ and his subsequent sanctification of us.

"But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life." Romans 6:22

Do we want to see the fruit of the Spirit of God in our children?

So, my brothers, you also died to the law through the body of Christ, that you might belong to another, to him who was raised from the dead, in order that we might bear fruit to God. For when we were controlled by the sinful nature, the sinful passions aroused by the law were at work in our bodies, so that we bore fruit for death. (Romans 7:4, 5)

They need to be saved through Jesus Christ!

This basic biblical principle is so important in the sacred trust of being good stewards and raising our children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord as his word instructs us.

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.(Ephesians 6:4)

God forbid if any of our parenting methods change outward behavior at the expense of changing the heart. Our Lord had much to say about wicked hearts hiding underneath righteous behavior.

Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean.(Matthew 23:27)

Should we not focus on taking our children to the cross to show them the tremendous sacrifice made on their behalf so that their behavior changes out of love and reverence for a holy, sacrificing, Sovereign Lord? Do we want to make a child think that Mommy or Daddy, instead of God, has the power to truly change the heart?

Just some thoughts to ponder.

More to follow.

Soli Deo Gloria.

The New Wife

Many of us have become convicted about the importance of pursuing our callings as godly wives and mothers later in our lives.

Praise the Lord that he is drawing us to himself!

A woman's identity as a wife and as a mother is important to God. Both are mentioned specifically throughout the Old and New Testaments.

Our ultimate identity though is in Christ even as God created us with the earthly identity of being female, made in his image.

It is through Christ and Christ alone that we will be able to assume a new identity that will be pleasing in the sight of our father through the righteousness of Him who died on the cross for us and is seated at the right hand of the father interceding for us.

"And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness." (Ephesians 4:24)

The Book of Ephesians has a lot to tell us about getting rid of the old man and putting on the new. I will be featuring a series of posts with prayerful responses to help to guide us to become a "New Wife" in Christ.

I am excited to see the work that the Lord will do in me and my marriage through my prayers. How grateful I am for the privilege of prayer!

God's Love

Greetings in the name of our Lord, Jesus Christ!

Here is a slide show that I put together as part of the morning devotion for our homeschool co-op, Deuteronomy 6. It is part of a series that I wrote only by the grace of God and for his glory.

I will work on presenting the rest of the series which is only text.

Please be inspired to work for our Lord as you come to realize how much he loves you. And may I do the same.

Rebuilding Godly Foundations

A woman's primary identity is that of a wife and mother. The Bible says it and I believe it. This is how we were created and we can easily see this in our everyday lives and in the lives of our daughters.

By destroying the foundation of our primary identity, feminists and the women who have unquestioningly followed them, have succeeded in causing untold misery in our world today. Women are suffering from depression, anxiety and addictions in epidemic proportions. Wives and mothers are abandoning their families and committing adultery at higher rates than ever seen in the history of this country. Women are dying faster than ever of heart disease and suicide. Why?

When you force a house off of it's foundation, it crumbles. The house of female-ness, having been pulled away from it's foundational identity of wife and mother, is falling apart today.

Today, being female means being sexually provocative and available, obsessed with appearances and the accumulation of worldly goods and focused on finding personal fulfillment at any cost.

Floating through life without the anchor of a loving, unchanging God and his decrees to live by does not feel like freedom. It feels like free falling, falling fast without a safety net. Avoiding commitment and a feeling of personal responsibility to a husband or children has become the goal as women's magazines feature countless articles on "How Not To Feel Guilty".

The modern woman's mantra has led to the breakdown of our families, just as Satan would have it. These are the thoughts that society constantly reinforces:
-I should work the same as a man
-I do not need a husband: marriage is unimportant
-I can look young forever
-My money is mine to with as I please
-Caring for children is an unimportant occupation
-Keeping house is demeaning and unnecessary
-The best example I can give my children is that of a working woman
-My children's academic and financial success is most important
-Someone else can care for my children just as well as I can
-I refuse to burdened down with a husband and children
-I do not contribute to society by staying home
-God wants me to use my God-given gifts outside of the home to help bigger numbers of people because it is numbers of people helped that is most important.

Our foundations need to be re-built ladies! The only way to do this is one woman at a time turning her heart to God, her husband, her children and her home. Only then can we begin to change this sad, anxious country into a God-honoring one for the glory of God.

How do I know so much about the mind of the modern career woman? Because I used to be one. Why am I so convicted on the true source of happiness for a woman? Because by God's grace alone, not that I can boast, he has transformed me by allowing me to partake of the true source of happiness, abiding in my Lord Jesus Christ and learning not to live for myself but for Him and those whom He sent to me.

Prayer For Becoming A Virtuous Woman

Heavenly Father,

Create in me the heart of a virtuous woman as you make me a new creature in Christ. Help me to take off the old woman with the spirit of the children of disobedience who fulfill the desires of the flesh and the mind. Help me to flee from my identity as a child of wrath.

Thank you for sending Jesus Christ to die on the cross for my sins that I might put off the old woman which was corrupt and filled with deceitful lusts. Instead, let me be renewed in the spirit of my mind and put on the new woman which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.

Lord, grant me according to the riches of your glory to be strengthened with might by your spirit in me. May Christ dwell in my heart by faith.

Amen.
(From Ephesians 2, 3)

How To Become A Virtuous Woman

Are you trying to become a virtuous woman? Are you uncomfortable with the current status of women in today's modern society? Does it seem to you that most women, married or not, mothers or not, seem to place most of their time, energy and passions on materialistic and self-centered pursuits? Have you come to the realization, by looking at the current emotional, physical and spiritual state of most modern women today, that something is terribly wrong with the role of women in our society?

Most of all, has God been whispering in your ear or speaking to your heart, telling you that he has something different than the norm set aside for you and leading you toward a different path?

If any of these statements apply to you, please stick around. Let's learn how to pray for God's grace to help us to become cheerful keepers at home under the guidance and direction of our husbands with a meek and gentle spirit. Let us be guided to lavish on our husbands and children a love second only to our wholehearted love of our God and Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

Through prayer and meditation on God's Holy Word, may we be transformed and completely renew our minds so that we might discern the Lord's will for our lives as wives and mothers.

The Lord is looking for strong courageous women, brave enough to follow in the margins, outside of the mainstream of most wives and mothers today. Will you answer His call? Will you stand up for Jesus loving your husband and children and cherishing your role as the keeper of your home that the Word of God would not be reviled? Are you willing to let your light shine as an example of Christ's love for a dying, disintegrating world? Through loving service to our families, we demonstrate clearly for others the love of Christ.

Thank you for reading and come back soon or subscribe to this blog.

Parenting By Grace Through Faith in Jesus, Part 5

The Almighty God has given me my children as a sacred trust and charged us to be good stewards and watchful shepherds of their hearts. Surely, this task he has given me is part of my sanctification as I learn to trust and obey him in all matters, including matters of parenting.

When I see my children going astray, the Lord will ALWAYS make me look at myself and where I am in my walk with him. He wants to teach me through the failings and stumblings of my children.

I praise God that he loves me so much!

Parenting By Grace Through Faith in Jesus, Part 4

I am convinced that to “train up a child in the way he should go” refers to the path that all Christians are to go, the path of following our Lord Jesus Christ who told us unhesitatingly that he is “the way, the truth and the life”. We must teach our children to seek the Lord with all their hearts, love him, obey him in all things and put all their faith and trust in him.

It is our job as parents to preach the true Gospel to our children. Once they understand the depravity they were saved from and the magnitude of Christ’s sacrifice for them, may their outward actions and character result from them wanting to please the God that cares so much for them, more than I or their father ever could.

May I lead the way in joyously serving my Lord as a wife and mother such that my outward actions reflect the heart my heavenly Father is creating in me. Therefore I ask, am I constantly crying out to God that he would help me to continually walk in God’s ways, obey him immediately and seek wisdom and help in parenting from Christ alone? I know that God is the source of all wisdom if I would but call upon him in every circumstance at all times through our prayers and supplications. Unfortunately, my natural inclination is to bring salvation to myself and my family only through my efforts instead of trusting in my Sovereign God to work and guide me.

Lord, I ask you today to flood my heart with peace, the peace of knowing that I have access to the source of all wisdom in parenting my children and indeed in all things. Help me to always rely on you as I should. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

Parenting By Grace Through Faith in Jesus, Part 3

I recently read a story about a child who was disciplined and confronted with her sin. She began to cry and said “I try to be good but I just can’t.” She had it right- she can not! Can you relate?

We know that the Bible says that in our natural state we are: dead, hard-hearted, blind, children of wrath, hostile to God, servants of sin servants of Satan and more (Rom. 3, Eph. 2). Even after we are saved, we are still being sanctified and have sin within us that wars against the godly growing within us. Even the great apostle Paul suffered with this problem! (Rom. 7:14-25) Even so, Paul is quick to tell us in Romans 8:1 “There is therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

No, indeed. Instead, I am to immediately take my children to the cross when they sin. I will take them to the cross where the blood of Jesus was shed for the forgiveness of our sins. I must pray with them and encourage them to come to repentance. I must pray for them that God would continue to draw them closer to him and cause them to seek after our Lord Jesus Christ and walk with him always.

I want to make sure that pleasing God, not man (including Mommy) becomes the driving force in their lives as I prepare them for a lifetime of Christian service. (Ephesians 5:10, Galations 1:10) I pray that before my children act, they will be able to ask themselves “Is this pleasing in God’s sight?”

Lord, may you continually guide me and lead me in your ways, especially as I strive to be a godly mother. May I wait patiently for you all the day long with prayer, praising and thanksgiving. Amen.

Parenting By Grace Through Faith in Jesus, Part 2

The biblical approach to changing behavior is diametrically opposed to the humanistic view. This is a major problem that I find with almost all “Christian lifestyle books”, including child training manuals, and Christian parent education and counseling that is leading Christians away from truth. Because I was trained in psychiatry and bathed in that worldview, I am able to quickly discern it's presence anywhere, including under the guise of Christian teaching.

The problem with B.F. Skinner and his modern-day followers in the field of psychology is their faulty worldview that says that humans are just like animals only more highly “evolved”. Therefore, Skinner’s studies (performed on animals) that have become the basis for modern psychology, are thought to be appropriately applied to humans. Unfortunately, these ideas have not only permeated but dominated the Christian church and these teachings were unquestioningly accepted by me as a new Christian. Now, as a believer in the Reformed faith and God’s constant Sovereignty in all things, I find myself re-thinking many ideas that I before easily accepted.

Now, as a Bible-believing, Reformed Christian, I know that God created humans to be different from animals (Genesis 1:27) and I know that outward changes in behavior can not lead to changed hearts. I also know that my Lord Jesus Christ was very concerned with people’s heart conditions during his earthly ministry. He often warned his fellow Jews not to depend on outward behaviors that looked good or holy to save them or gain the approval of His Heavenly Father. (Matthew 23:27, 7:23) God forbid if I unwittingly encourage outward behaviors in our children that look good at the expense of waiting on the Lord to change their hearts. (Luke 17:2)

Lord, may I relentlessly seek your face and your wisdom as I endeavor to raise my children for you and for your kingdom. Amen.

Parenting By Grace Through Faith in Jesus, Part 1

What is my main goal in raising my children? On a day-to-day basis, it seems that I mostly strive to change their behavior. My primary focus, however, should not be to just change my children’s behavior but to bring them to a saving faith in Jesus Christ to change their hearts. (Rom. 10:1) Only God can change hearts. (Dt. 30:6) I need them to know that the ONLY way to redemption is through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ and neither my efforts as their mother nor their efforts to “act good” will accomplish that. (Is. 64:6) Long lasting changes in behavior can and will happen to the truly regenerate and although I may desire changed behavior in myself, my husband or my children, I cannot accomplish this on my own. Jesus is the only way. (John 14:6)

My problem? I do discipline my children. Why? To change their behavior. That is very reflective of my humanistic, psychological worldview (thanks to B.F. Skinner and all the others that followed him). How does human behavior truly change? Through the loving act of a Sovereign God who draws us to himself that we might be saved, re-born and regenerated. What human agency is used to accomplish this? The preaching of Christ Jesus. (Romans 10:17)

Lord, I pray today that you will change my mind, enlighten my heart and send me running to you and your Word as I seek to raise my children for your glory. I put my faith and trust in you, Almighty Savior. Act in my heart today. Amen.